90 Day (Hot Mess) Fiance

Hello again! I have risen from the ashes with a post about one of our FAVORITE indulgences: 90 Day Fiancé. I am not sure if any couple can top the wonder that is Danielle and Mohamed from Season 2, but that remains to be seen.

Let’s get into it!

Melanie Bowers (Orwigsburg, Pennsylvania) and Devar Walters (Jamaica)

At the beginning of the season, I actually felt pretty good about this couple, but as the season progresses… something just seems off. Devar actually seems into Melanie and the new role of step-dad to adorable Hunter, but Melanie always seems annoyed. Ring shopping: annoyed. Meeting Devar’s mother: annoyed. Obviously, the days leading up to a wedding, especially a K-1 wedding is fraught with nerves, but I ain’t buying what Melanie is selling.

 

Loren (New York City) and Alexei (Israel)

If this couple even makes it to the altar, I nominate them for a new show called 90 Day Divorce. Loren seems like an entitled little princess who does not possess the ability to put herself in other people’s shoes, least of all her fiancé. After a skype conversation with Alexei’s family, Loren was furious that anyone dare miss her man. She goes on to throw a tantrum about how hard it is on her for anyone other than her to be having any sort of negative emotions about this deal. I can’t.

 

Fernando (Miami, Fla.) and Carolina (from Colombia)

Fernando is obnoxious and is divorced because he cheated on his ex-wife. Carolina met Fernando while they were both on separate dates. Fernando has already cheated on Carolina and has yet to file all of the needed paperwork for her K-1 visa. Ummmm, no.

 

Josh (Rexburg, Idaho) and Aleksandra (Russia)

Josh met Aleksandra while on a Mormon mission in the Czech Republic. Josh is very soft and sweet, and Aleksandra is a former go-go dancer. As the season progresses, it doesn’t seem like Aleksandra even likes Josh. She also awkwardly brings up her past shenanigans to Josh’s friends and family every chance she gets. I am VERY skeptical of this union, but I am willing to give Aleksandra a little leeway… for now.

 

Kyle (New Orleans) and Noon (Thailand)

Kyle is a bartender in New Orleans, who lives in a bug infested apartment with his stoner roomie. Noon is prone to jealousy. This oughtta be good!

 

Mark (Baltimore) and Nikki (Philippines)

Mark and Nikki are definitely the season’s most controversial couple. Mark is 58 and Nikki is 19. Nikki also is from the exact same small town in the Philippines as Mark’s ex-wife. While they are an odd couple, Nikki seems to genuinely care for Mark, while Mark seems to be trying to find an exact replica of his ex. He even buys Nikki the same car he bought for the first wifey!